


darling, only you can ease my mind

by popkin16, Steeella, Zhalia



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, Bottom Ryan Bergara, Breeding Kink, Daddy Kink, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Nipple Play, Praise Kink, Trans Character, Wax Play, trans!Ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:53:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28450446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popkin16/pseuds/popkin16, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steeella/pseuds/Steeella, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zhalia/pseuds/Zhalia
Summary: “Come to my apartment in an hour, wanna tell you something.”Ryan’s heart fell, expecting the very worst to happen already. He sighed, faked ignorance, and smiled, “Sure!”Shane kissed him on the cheek, and Ryan couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch. God, he’s gonna miss that.or, ryan overhears a conversation between steven and shane, then shane invites him over and he expects the worst to come.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 11
Kudos: 118
Collections: Shyan Shipping Society - NYE Exchange





	darling, only you can ease my mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idkspookystuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/gifts).



> okay holy fucking shit this was a wild ride.
> 
> happy NYE Virge !! bet you didn't expect a gift from us.  
> so there's a story here- and you know the details so i'll spare you that- but the person who originally was gonna give your gift, left our server the day before the deadline. we immediately jumped into action bc there ain't no gift exchange where someone doesn't get a gift. so !! i gathered pop and stella and screamed 'hey we need to WRITE' so uh, we did? in two days we wrote this lil' bad boy for you!!
> 
> hope you like it !!!
> 
> so here's me saying, big fucking thank you to pop and stella for just,, rolling with this. for going just opening the google doc and writing, pouring our hears and souls out so we'd deliver a gift. holy fuck i'm so proud of us.
> 
> love you all !!!
> 
> title: Ease My Mind - ben platt

“It’s just not like that, with Ryan, you know? It’s… different.”

Shane sounded sad as he spoke, there was a hint of longing for a change in his tone. 

Ryan looked over, briefly, before getting caught. He didn’t want Shane or Steven to know that he was eavesdropping, but they had to understand that his own name would catch his attention. He was sitting a mere few feet away from the two. Shane had his back turned to Ryan. Their voices turned into mumbles and Ryan couldn’t catch anything else that was mentioned. He sighed deeply, hands curling around his warm teacup to suppress the shivers that ran down his back. Something was off. He knew that there’d be a time where Shane would get bored of him. Shane’s way out of Ryan’s league anyway. He’s charming, handsome, funny, and incredibly intelligent. The fact that they had gotten together and have been dating for over half a year was insane to Ryan. 

_Impossible_ , he thought.

He had been clenching his jaw as he enjoyed every moment with his boyfriend. But he was realistic too, there must be a time when the honeymoon phase passes. Was that now?

Maybe Shane _was_ too much for Ryan. maybe Ryan wasn’t enough for Shane. Either way, though disappointed, he wasn’t surprised to hear this. He wasn’t surprised to know that Shane would get bored. He felt like he didn’t deserve him in the first place, almost counting down the days till something bad would happen. A big fight, sleeping on the couch, staying at a friend’s for a break that will lead to the inevitable break-up. He just hadn’t thought it’d be so soon.

Ryan wasn’t productive for the rest of the day. He stared at mails he had to answer, mails he had to send, topics he had to brainstorm and new show ideas he had to create. But all he could do was stare at his empty word document, the white pixels burning his eyes. He couldn’t get himself to type, couldn’t get himself to stain the perfect white paper with his cursed black ink. So he stared. And stared. 

The day passed slower than any other day ever had. Ryan swore he saw each second, each minute, and each hour pass by. It was the only reminder to him that he was still alive, despite feeling absurdly numb. 

Ryan went home earlier than he normally did, feigning a headache and promising he’d work normally the next day. The crew shot him concerned looks, but he wasn’t in the mood for their pity. He just wanted to go home and sleep. 

Shane’s fingers curling around his wrist shook him out of his thoughts and stopped him from entering his car. He hadn’t even heard Shane following him out. Shane’s mouth was moving, but Ryan’s thoughts were drowning out the sound. He shook his head, blinking quickly before focussing on Shane again.

“Sorry, I didn't catch that,” he said, weakly.

“Come to my apartment in an hour, wanna tell you something.” 

Ryan’s heart fell, expecting the very worst to happen already. He sighed, faked ignorance, and smiled, “Sure!” 

Shane kissed him on the cheek, and Ryan couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch. God, he’s gonna miss that.

Once home, Ryan couldn’t help but carry the same emptiness as before, now weighing heavier with Shane’s words. The kiss on his cheek was weird and disproved his theory of Shane breaking up with him a little bit. But even if Shane wasn’t planning on breaking up with Ryan, the whole situation felt off. There was something wrong, and whatever Shane wanted to discuss, it wasn’t going to be fun.

Ryan put on his box, the music blasting loudly. For once, he didn’t care about his neighbors. If they wanted to complain, he was ready to throw hands. He turned up the volume and put on the angriest songs on his playlist. He needed to get some energy out. Stop his fingers from shaking. Stop his mind from thinking. His brain provided him nothing but worst-case-scenarios and he hated it. 

Screaming along to the music, Ryan headed to the shower. With the water on a temperature so hot, it was close to burning his skin, he showered. His skin turned red from the heat, but Ryan couldn’t care less.

As he looked down on his body, he noticed how his belly had gotten bigger. He pinched the skin with his fingers. Those damn hormone pills had gotten him to gain some weight and he didn’t like it. Could that be a reason for Shane to break up with him? That he wasn’t attractive enough? The process of him going from female to male has been difficult for everyone around him. They all sounded incredibly understanding as he underwent this transition, but of course, it can be that they talk behind his back. Maybe they’re only nice to his face because they don’t want him to feel unwelcome.

Goddamnit, now he was questioning his friends too.

Ryan hit the shower wall, not caring about his reddening skin. He turned off the shower and there was anger in every single one of his movements. He was scared, and it got him frustrated, and he hates being frustrated so now he’s angry. He doesn’t _want_ to be angry, everything was going so very well for him. The company was doing good, he got to spend more time with Shane, he got _together_ with Shane, they built this amazing team of creative minds and hard workers. And now he was here questioning their honesty. What kind of friend did that make Ryan? 

He didn’t want to be angry, which only made him angrier.

Ryan took a few deep breaths as he dried himself.

He decided it’d be better if he waited for Shane’s words, waited for what he had to say before he let his own mind get the better of him. Maybe he’d get them in a worse place if he were to keep thinking like this. But it’s not like he could help himself either. 

Ryan got dressed, grabbing one of Shane’s sweaters from his closet. If they ended up ending their relationship, he could at least give this one back already.

As he drove, he realised how much he was mourning something that hadn’t even died yet. He’s passed denial, went over to anger. He was in the middle of thinking about all the things he could’ve done differently, moments where he missed an obvious hint, gifts he could’ve given and affection he should've shown, when he rolled up to Shane’s apartment. Before leaving the safe, confined space of his own car, he took a few deep breaths. His mind was filled to the brim with words he wanted to say, reasons to get Shane to stay. He repeated them to himself one last time, then got out of his car.

His mind shut off completely as he walked up the stairs automatically, already forgotten how Shane sounded when he opened the door to the building for him. As he walked over the hallway of Shane’s floor, he noticed the door to Shane’s apartment opened. Through the door shone a warm, orange light. It illuminated the hallway and filled Ryan with sadness. He wondered just how often he was going to get welcomed like this. _Rarely_ , he guessed.

The moving of a silhouette stopped Ryan in his tracks. This was his last chance to go and avoid this conversation altogether. Why did he have to come over all the way to Shane’s apartment for this anyways? If Shane wanted to break up, why didn’t he just dump him in the Watcher’s parking lot. Would’ve saved him the money for gasoline and the entire rollercoaster of emotions.

Ryan shook his head, he’s come this far. Shane owes him a goddamn explanation.

Ryan opened the door to Shane’s apartment, and was met with an insane amount of candles all over the floor and on each flat surface. He frowned, _what the fuck is going on?_

“Ry! You’re here!” Shane raised his arms, there was a blush that turned the tips of his ears in a wonderful rosé shade. He smiled, big and wide. Leaning over to embrace Ryan, but stopping before he was close enough, “What’s wrong?”

“What’s this?” Ryan gestured at all the candles in the room. He was still convinced he was about to be single again, as he stood here. Surrounded by wax and his happy boyfriend.

‘’I wanted to do something for you,’’ Shane said softly, tilting Ryan’s chin up to kiss him softly on the mouth. 

‘’Why the candles, though?’’ Ryan looked around. It was incredibly beautiful, but must have taken so much time to prepare.

Shane smirked. ‘’I thought they were romantic,’’ he said loftily, ‘’And could always become useful later.’’

This struck Ryan was ominous, but he was willing to let it slide. Shane had never kept anything from him that didn’t turn out to be a brilliant idea in the making, and Ryan trusted him with his whole heart.

The setup really _was_ romantic, Ryan decided, looking over the warm, candlelit room. Relief and the electric feeling of love filled Ryan and he let out a small laugh. Shane reached out and tangled their fingers together, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. He dropped Ryan’s hand in favor of cupping his face, angling Ryan’s head so they could sink into it. Ryan thread his fingers through the loops of Shane’s pants and hauled him closer, kissing back fervently. 

When Shane pulled back, he rested his forehead against Ryan’s. He tilted his chin forward to brush his lips against Ryan’s again, like he was unable to stop, like a moment spent not kissing Ryan was a moment wasted. The small ways Shane made Ryan feel precious and loved always made his breath shaky. What wouldn’t he do to keep Shane forever?

“What’s all this for?” Ryan asked, deliberately brushing their noses together.

“Do I need a reason?” Shane asked, mock offended.

“For an incredibly romantic night? Of course not. But it’s not really your style, either.” Shane liked lowkey nights in. He liked intimacy and those quiet, tender moments. Shane _could_ be romantic, but he didn’t usually go all out unless it was a special occasion.

“I thought we might try something new,” Shane said, and his voice trembled almost imperceptibly with nerves.

“Lay it on me, big guy,” Ryan replied, and left teasing kisses on the lower half of Shane’s face, letting out a loud _mwah_ with each one. Shane’s nerves seemed to melt as he started laughing at Ryan, twisting his face away from him but never pushing Ryan out of his arms

Ryan’s kisses slowly became less cartoonish and more heated. Shane’s tongue in his mouth and hand on his ass had Ryan feeling that familiar wet heat between his legs, and he ground himself against the growing erection pressed to his stomach. Shane let out a low rumble against Ryan’s mouth before he grabbed Ryan by the hips and bodily moved him through the living room and down the hall, toward the bedroom.

Ryan wanted to laugh when Shane scooped him up bridal style, but the intense look and Shane’s dark eyes had the laugh dying in his throat. He swallowed heavily, the ache of arousal in his abdomen increasing. Shane had always been passionate in bed, but he’s never looked at Ryan quite like that before. Ryan’s pretty sure he’s wet enough his boxers are sticky by now.

The bedroom is lit with candles here as well, though far fewer than what Shane had spread out in the living room. On the bedside table are two candles; one a regular candle in a glass jar, already lit. Next to it lay a single candle, long and thin.

Shane gently deposited Ryan on the bed.

“Stay there,” he said firmly, and Ryan obeyed, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. Shane untied his shoes with quick, nimble fingers and gently set them on the floor by the bed, tucking the socks inside - familiar, by now, with Ryan’s obsession with treating his shoes with care. He rested his fingers on Ryan’s ankle and slowly dragged his hands up Ryan’s legs, the pressure just firm enough not to tickle. It’s automatic for Ryan to spread his legs, to offer himself up.

Shane’s hand passed over Ryan’s pussy with the same gentle pressure, a cruel tease. Ryan made a little noise of protest. 

“Patience, baby, I’ll get you there,” Shane soothed. He tucked his hands under Ryan’s shirt and started to nudge it up, hands dragging over the skin of Ryan’s chest. Shane paused a moment to thumb at Ryan’s hard nipples, smirking when he began to whine. Ryan arched, offering his chest up, mouth falling open.

“Ah!” Ryan cried out when Shane pinched one. And then his fingers were gone, lifting Ryan’s shirt the rest of the way. Ryan lifted his arms to help, unself-consciously dropping his arms to his sides, letting Shane look at his surgery scars. Shane had already seen them, kissed them, traced them with his tongue. There was nothing to fear here.

“Shane,” Ryan rasped, voice throaty with arousal. “Can we speed this up, please?”

“Nope,” Shane said easily. “I have plans.”

“I can just get myself off, you know,” Ryan teased, one hand reaching for the button on his pants. Shane grabbed his wrist to stop him and gave it a warning squeeze. Ryan froze. Shane’s eyes seemed darker than before, his face stern.

“Don’t even think about it,” he cautioned. When he let go, Ryan dropped his arm back to his side, skin breaking out in goosebumps. He shifted his hips, hoping to relieve the ache building inside him, feeling himself getting wetter. All right, Shane using _that tone_ in the bedroom was, uh, really something.

Shane flicked Ryan’s hard nipples again, making Ryan moan. A small, “Please,” slipped out, but Shane ignored it to pop the button on Ryan’s pants. Every bit of Ryan’s body was screaming for touch. The anticipation alone had him so on edge that Shane playing with his nipples for a time could probably get him off. Ryan wanted to come so badly, but Shane wanted him to wait, and Ryan - well, Ryan wanted to please him.

Shane slowly lowered the zipper on Ryan’s pants. “Up,” he ordered, and Ryan lifted his hips so Shane could tug Ryan’s pants down. He eased them down, continuing that slow, beautiful torture. Ryan spread his legs again and bit his lip, a low whine escaping his throat. He stared pleadingly up at Shane, hands clutching at the bedsheet beneath him.

“Look at you,” Shane breathed. He set his hands on Ryan’s inner thighs, pushing his legs open even wider. “Look how wet you are just from a few kisses and some nipple play.”

“Shane,” Ryan whimpered. “Please, touch me.”

“Not yet, baby,” Shane said. “Soon, I promise. But I need - you need to pick a safeword, first.”

“A - what?” Ryan blinked up at Shane, startled out of the haze of lust he’d been falling into. 

“A safeword,” Shane said patiently, “To indicate you want to end the scene.”

“Are we doing a scene?” _Stupid question_ , Ryan told himself. If Shane wanted him to pick a safeword, then clearly they _are_ doing a scene. “What are we doing?”

“You’ll see,” Shane said. But when he met Ryan’s eyes, there was a question in them. About whether Ryan wanted to continue, about whether this was okay. Ryan took a couple deep breaths to clear his head, to step back from the way his body was screaming at him.

Ryan had known Shane for years. He’d seen him in all kinds of situations, in a manner of emotional states. Shane had always made a point to make sure Ryan was comfortable. He made Ryan feel loved.

Ryan had thought earlier that he trusted Shane with his whole heart. That hadn’t changed. If Ryan used the safeword, Shane would stop, simple as that.

“Augustine,” Ryan decided finally.

“As in St. Augustine? The - the place where we first kissed?” Shane asked, furrowing his brow. “You want that to be the word for ‘stop’?”

“Mmhmm,” Ryan agreed. “I don’t want to choose something I hate because even if I’m not into whatever we’re doing, I never _hate_ anything we do together. I don’t want it to be a negative word. If I use the word, I don’t want you to think I’m scared or want to stop completely. We’re just...redirecting. Taking a new path.” he thought back to that day. "I thought then… that it would all be over. I thought that when I opened my mouth and told you how I felt it would all be over." He swallowed. "I thought it was over today, but instead you've done all of this."

“Oh, Ry,” Shane sighed, eyes soft. He leaned down to press his lips to Ryan’s in the sweetest, gentlest kiss imaginable. Ryan kissed him back, trying to push all his love and trust into touch of their mouths. He thought Shane got it, when Shane made a low, harsh noise. He pressed another kiss to Ryan’s forehead before he straightened up. "It's never gonna be over, baby."

Shane reached out to pull Ryan’s underwear off. Ryan was wet enough that it clung to his skin, requiring Shane to peel it off him. Ryan shivered as the air hit his wet skin, but he kept his legs spread invitingly.

“Don’t be afraid to safeword,” Shane instructed him softly. “I’ll stop immediately, and we can talk things through.”

“I know,” Ryan said impatiently, anticipation making his skin feel tight with want. 

“I know,” Shane mocked in a high-pitched voice. The teasing was a bit of normalcy in an otherwise charged moment, and it had Ryan relaxing against the bed as he laughed.

He watched as Shane reached out to grab the long, thin, colorless candle from the bedside table. It had been resting inside a curved, shallow plate the shape of a teardrop. Shane blew out the candle and removed it from the plate, dumping it in a bowl of water beside the bed. Ryan raised an eyebrow. Shane lifted the plate and held it over Ryan’s body. Their eyes met.

Ryan lifted his chin in a subtle ‘go ahead’ movement and Shane tipped the plate a tiny bit. The melted wax slid toward the pointed end of the teardrop, and gathered at the end. Slowly, a drop formed, lingering at the edge of the pointed end. Ryan sucked in an anticipatory breath, eyes glued. 

It fell.

The burn of it landing on Ryan’s skin had him arching up, a low moan escaping his lips. The warmth of it seemed to sink into him, that one spot of heat all he could focus on. When Ryan’s eyes fluttered open, Shane was watching him closely.

“Again,” Ryan asked, and Shane tipped the plate and another drop landed on him. After another short pause, Shane lowered the plate so it was closer to Ryan’s skin - though still quite a bit away - and repeated the motion. The wax burned hotter this time, with less time for it to cool as the drop fell, and Ryan let out a high-pitched noise at the feel of it.

“Fuck,” Ryan gasped, hips arching off the bed. Shane reached down and ran his fingers along Ryan’s pussy, teasing him. He brushed Ryan’s bottom lip with his fingers, smearing Ryan’s slick. Ryan’s tongue flicked out to lick Shane’s fingers clean.

“Like that, baby?” Shane asked, and his voice was deep and rough. His eyes were all pupil, only a thin line of amber remaining.

“Yes,” Ryan replied, and nipped at the tips of Shane’s fingers. “More.”

Shane complied. He tipped the plate at varying heights. The sting of heat on Ryan’s nipples had him crying out so loud they both froze, waiting breathlessly to see if the neighbors would bang on the wall. Ryan stuffed his knuckles in his mouth to muffle the whimpers and cries as Shane covered his nipples in warm wax, as he decorated Ryan’s chest and belly with it.

Ryan was trembling by the time Shane dropped the empty plate into the bucket of water. His skin was covered in goosebumps, and he was so wet his thighs were shiny with it.

“Touch me,” Ryan begged. “God, please, Shane. I want to come, please make me come -”

“Shh,” Shane whispered, running his hand through Ryan’s hair. “You did so well for me. I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

The ache between Ryan’s legs intensified. Ryan reached out to tug on Shane’s shoulder, pulling him closer. The brush of his clothing against Ryan’s bare skin was almost too much with his skin so sensitized, but it wasn’t enough to make him come.

Shane slipped his hand between Ryan’s legs, his fingers seeking out Ryan’s wet pussy. He pushed his fingers in slowly, not to tease, but just out of consideration.

“Yes, yes,” Ryan chanted, and he reached between his legs to rub at his clit. Shane pushed his hands away and took over for Ryan. He rubbed circles around Ryan’s clit and thrust his fingers in and out of Ryan’s pussy, angling his fingers until he found his g-spot. Ryan cried out louder, head thrown back against the pillow, hands clenched in the bedsheet so tightly his knuckles were white. He rolled his hips into the press of Shane’s fingers and felt tears well up in his eyes.

His body was tense, right there on the edge, body straining -

“Going to come for me, Ry? Going to get my hand all wet, wake the neighbors with your screams? I want to hear you, I want _them_ to hear you. I want to feel you come on my fingers - come for me, _right now_.”

Shane pressed firmly on his g-spot as he said the last two words, and Ryan did, with a loud scream, legs jerking. He could feel himself clenching rhythmically around Shane’s fingers, and the relief of it felt so fucking good.

When Ryan’s brain came back online, he was sprawled across the bed, limbs twitching with aftershocks. He blinked his eyes and slowly the room came into focus. Shane was grinning at him, running his hands up and down Ryan’s arms.

“Back with me?” Shane asked softly, and leaned forward to press a kiss to each of Ryan’s eyelids. Ryan tilted his chin up, silently asking for a kiss, and Shane obliged him. He licked into Ryan’s mouth, his beard rough against Ryan’s face. Ryan lifted one arm to wrap around Shane’s neck and keep him there. They kissed deeply, Shane’s tongue exploring Ryan’s mouth with familiarity, until breathing became necessary.

“Did you get undressed?” Ryan asked, running his hands over Shane’s bare shoulders. He traced down Shane’s shoulders and over his pecs, down to his cute little belly. Shane’s cock twitched and Ryan felt his body stir with interest. Shane’s cock was long and fat, with a vein that Ryan liked to tongue. His mouth watered at the sight of the wet cockhead, pre-cum welling up from the slit. He couldn’t get enough of this gorgeous dork and his soft heart and the way he fucked Ryan so good.

“Sure did,” Shane grinned, eyes crinkling cutely. “I had to do something while I waited for you to recover.”

“Fuck off,” Ryan grumbled, glaring. Shane grinned and reached down to tease Ryan’s entrance, dipping his fingers in before pulling them out.

“You sure you want me to leave, baby? I thought I’d make you come at least once more.”

Ryan shivered. “You can stay _only_ if I get another orgasm.”

“Greedy,” Shane noted approvingly. His fingers crushed against Ryan’s thigh.

Ryan’s cheeks warmed. “Get on with it,” he grumbled.

“I have never felt more wanted in my life,” Shane said jokingly, but it made Ryan’s heart twinge. Ryan grabbed Shane’s hand before he could move. He lifted it and pressed a kiss to the palm of it.

“I love you, big guy,” Ryan said quietly, and Shane’s eyes went soft and warm.

“Me too,” he smiled, a light blush spreading over his nose and cheeks. “I-I love you too, Ryan.”

Shane leaned forward to brush his lips against Ryan’s lips. Before Ryan could turn the kiss into something deeper, wetter, Shane moved to nip at Ryan’s jawline. Ryan spread his legs so Shane could settle between them, the brush of his cock against Ryan’s opening making him clutch at Shane’s shoulders. Shane mouthed at Ryan’s neck, sucking kisses down the side. His hot breath and wet mouth on Ryan’s skin made the arousal gather inside him again.

Ryan tilted his head back. “Shane,” he groaned.

Shane lifted his mouth from Ryan’s neck with a wet sound. He pressed a kiss to the bruise he’d left there and then sat up. He lifted Ryan’s leg over his shoulder and reached down to grab his cock. He rubbed it against Ryan’s pussy, wetting it with Ryan’s come. He pushed the tip against Ryan’s opening, and Ryan sucked in a breath. But it was just another tease, as Shane pulled back, then pushed in, over and over, never sliding home, never going deep.

“Goddammit, Shane,” Ryan snapped, and Shane pushed in with one long, slick glide. Ryan made a punched out noise and clutched at Shane’s forearm. He rolled his hips, feeling every inch of Shane’s cock, and finally felt stretched open and filled, just the way he liked.

He watched as a flush spread down Shane’s chest as he slowly fucked Ryan. His eyes were half-lidded as he watched his cock disappear into Ryan’s body over and over. God, the look on Shane’s face, like fucking Ryan was the greatest feeling in the world.

“Love watching this,” Shane murmured. “You take my cock so well, baby. You’re so tight for me, so hot, so wet.”

“I love it,” Ryan said, voice shaky with arousal. “Feels so good.”

Shane’s hips snapped forward, fucking him harder. Ryan cried out, hand clamping down on Shane’s forearm. Ryan shook as Shane started thrusting rougher, taking him harder. Shane leaned forward, pushing Ryan’s leg back, opening him up more. Shane’s gaze moved from where he was pounding into Ryan to Ryan’s eyes.

“Oh fuck, yes, god,” Ryan choked out, trying so hard to keep his eyes open, to watch Shane watch him, a feedback loop of arousal. Shane was fucking Ryan so hard he was sliding up the bed, the wet sound of Shane’s cock in Ryan’s soaking pussy almost overpowering Ryan’s gasps, his pleas. Ryan reached up with one hand to press against the headboard, muscles bulging as he pushed to keep himself in place.

When Shane halted abruptly, Ryan let out a wail of frustration.

“Wh - no, please,” Ryan asked. He clenched down on Shane’s cock, rolling his hips desperately.

“Please what?” Shane panted, eyes so dark. He reached up to rub Ryan’s bottom lip with his thumb. “What do we say when we want something?”

“Please, please,” Ryan asked frantically, mindlessly.

“Ryan,” Shane said sternly, thumb pressing roughly against Ryan’s mouth.

“ _Please, daddy_ ,” Ryan cried, “Please fuck me, give me your cock, I want it, I want -”

“Daddy? Are you - did you seriously just -” Shane repeated, looking surprised.Shame had Ryan closing his eyes and turning his face away, his darkest secret finally out. “Oh, hey, no. I’m sorry.”

Ryan still didn’t look at Shane, continuing to clench down on his cock, body aching to come. Shane used the hand he’d been touching Ryan’s mouth with to turn Ryan’s face toward him. It seemed as though their first kiss and subsequent love confession hadn’t been the only truth Ryan had let slip in St. Augustine.

“I can be your daddy,” Shane said earnestly, and Ryan wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or roll his eyes. He made a derisive noise instead. Shane pulled out and slammed back into Ryan, the smack of their skin loud in the quiet that had filled the room just moments before. It jolted Ryan, making him moan.

“Say it,” Shane said, watching Ryan. Ryan shook his head. Shane pulled out slowly and slammed home again. He pinched Ryan’s nipple hard.

“Say it for me, baby,” Shane repeated.

“I -” Ryan bit his lip, still embarrassed. His face burned and his pussy got wetter at the thought of finally saying it.

“Say it, baby boy,” Shane said, “Daddy wants to hear you say his name,”

Ryan trembled. His lips barely moved when he whispered, “Daddy, please.”

“Good boy,” Shane praised. He flicked Ryan’s other nipple, gentler this time, and slid his hand down Ryan’s body. “Say it louder.”

“Daddy,” Ryan repeated louder.

Shane let out a small moan, his eyes briefly shutting. His hips stuttered. “That’s right, baby. Daddy wants to hear you.”

“Fuck,” Ryan swore at the sight of Shane getting into it, enjoying it, “Daddy, please, fuck my pussy, make me come, I’ve been so good -”

“You have,” Shane groaned. He started rubbing Ryan’s clit, gentle touches that sent jolts of pleasure through Ryan’s body. Ryan whimpered and wrapped his free leg around Shane as best he could. “You’ve been so good for me.”

Ryan’s noises were getting louder now, his brain slowly shutting down as pleasure lit his body up. Everything he’d thought but never dared said was falling from his lips, his brain to mouth filter utterly ruined.

“I want to come on your cock, Daddy,” Ryan moaned, “I wanna - I wanna make you come, keep you inside me until I’m full.”

Shane was fucking in eanest now, rougher than he’d ever been before. He rubbed Ryan’s clit with firm, quick strokes, using Ryan’s come to keep everything slick. He pounded into Ryan, quick, short thrusts, changing the angle, looking for that one -

Ryan screamed when Shane found it. Ryan’s entire body tensed, clearly about to come. Shane leaned forward just a bit more, surprised at how bendy Ryan was, and rumbled, “I’m going to fill you up with my cum, darlin’, going to make a mess of you.”

“Yes,” Ryan sobbed, shaking his head, “Daddy, please, come inside me, breed me, I want -”

Shane, usually fairly quiet in bed, let out a loud growl, “Going to come inside you and get you pregnant. Do you want that, Ryan? Do you want to carry my baby?”

“Oh, fuck, fuck, Daddy,” Ryan moaned. Inside him, Shane’s cock grew harder, swelling, filling Ryan up more. The feel of him stretching Ryan wide over his cock, his erratic touches on Ryan’s clit, it was winding Ryan tighter, bringing him higher. Ryan was pinned down by Shane’s cock, by the filth spilling out of his mouth, and Ryan was, he was -

“I’m coming, I’m - I’m going to fill you up, stay inside you for an hour so I can be sure you’re nice and bred-” Shane gasped, pressing as deep as he could go.

Ryan came, clenching down on Shane’s cock so hard Shane could hardly thrust. Ryan’s other leg pressed against Shane, trying to keep him close, keep his throbbing cock inside. Ryan felt Shane’s cock jerk and spurt, his hot come filling him up, and the feeling of it, of his Daddy filling him up, getting him messy and pregnant, was enough for Ryan to come again, a smaller orgasm that he could only whimper and shake through.

‘’So good,’’ Shane murmured, his breath hot against Ryan’s cheek, ‘’You did so good for me, baby.’’

Ryan felt hot tears of pride and love and overstimulation burning in the corner of his eyes. 

‘’It’s okay, baby,’’ Shane whispered, wiping his eyes with his knuckles. ‘’I’ve got you.’’

Ryan could barely register the soft kisses Shane placed on his cheek, kissing the tears away. He couldn’t recall a moment where he felt happier, more satisfied and filled to the brim with love, than this. The soft light of the candles in Shane’s bedroom illuminated the golden flecks in his eyes. There was something about the sincerity, the openness and complete trust that had Ryan’s tears fall down his cheeks more and more. He couldn’t stop, even as he wiped them away. Shane didn’t say a word, he kept kissing Ryan’s cheeks to soothe him. 

Eventually, Ryan’s crying turned into happy sobs, mixed with laughter of the absolute absurdity of the situation. Tonight’s been a sure rollercoaster of emotions for him. He wouldn’t want it any other way. He’s been fucked in the most rough and simultaneously delicate way ever. There’s been some revelations about kinks in the meantime. This all under Shane’s shadow, Shane's dark eyes staring at him like he’s the prettiest picture he had ever seen. No lazy river can beat the pure beauty that is Ryan Steven Bergara, and he drowned in the praise.

The candles weren’t the only thing glowing. Ryan felt his skin on fire, and Shane looked at him like he was a beacon of light. A sun. All Ryan could do was smile through his tears. 

Shane’s voice was soft, “Hey baby, how are you feeling?” 

Ryan wiped away the rest of his wet cheeks, then looked up at Shane again, eyes big. He couldn’t talk much, his throat hurting from his screams and loud moans. He merely nodded.

Shane shuffled, leaning down on his elbows to be closer to Ryan. The movement had Ryan clench his legs instantly, still overstimulated from all Shane did. Shane looked at him, a worried frown on his forehead, “Too much?”

His hands shooting to his face, Ryan hid from the dark, laser gaze Shane gave him. He felt like every single thought, every emotion was laid bare and visible. Shane’s fingers moved to peel one hand off of Ryan’s face, making eye contact with him again. He smirked, a devious, wanting smirk, “If you’re worried about all my hot come dripping out, i can always plug you up?” 

Ryan peeked from behind his fingers, he whispered a soft _excuse me_ , and scanned Shane’s face again. Shane seemed to be dead serious. Ryan was so into it. 

“I’m gonna move now, darling, need to grab something out of the drawer. Stay good, okay? And if it’s too much, safeword still counts.” He waited until Ryan nodded, then hunched over the end of the bed and opened the drawer. Ryan couldn’t see what he got. 

Then he felt the cold touch of a silicon item on his sides, and he got goosebumps all over. He shivered.

Shane looked at him, eyebrow arched. Ryan’s eyes were wide as he scanned his side to see just what Shane got in his hand, but in the darkness of the room, he saw nothing. Regardless, Ryan nodded and Shane continued.

“I bought this for you a while ago, you know? We’ve just never gotten around to using it.” His voice was loving, with just a touch of teasing. The item moved over Ryan’s sides, to his legs, to his thighs, as Shane kept talking. “Do you know the meaning of gemstones? They’re pretty interesting to learn about when you dive into it.” 

Ryan shook his head, eyes still trying to find what Shane was holding. As he looked down, to where Shane’s dick entered his pussy, his eyes widened. He was sure he could piece one and one together.

Shane smirked, “I got you an emerald, the green ones. Look them up one day, let me know what you think.” The plug lay in his hand, open for Ryan to see. Ryan felt Shane’s burning gaze studying his face, not a single twitch of muscle unseen.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Shane.”

“The feeling’s mutual.” Shane eased out of Ryan, slowly, ensuring he wouldn’t let too much cum out of Ryan’s pussy. “Stay very still, I don’t want you to waste a single one of these drops.” 

Ryan couldn’t help but obey. Ryan couldn’t help but arch his back as Shane pushed the silicon plug inside of him. Ryan couldn’t help but moan as Shane laid his legs back on the bed.

“You’re perfect, Ry.” 

“I-”

Ryan was cut off before he could return the sentiment. Months of dating this idiot and he still struggled with receiving the love Ryan gave him. Shane’s smile was loving, but his face was focused on something else. “Shush, darling, let your voice rest.” He placed a soft kiss on Ryan’s cheek, then said, “I’m gonna grab a washcloth and clean you, okay? Stay very still” 

Mere seconds later - Ryan was convinced Shane prepared all of this thoroughly - Shane returned, washcloth and bottle of oil in hand. Ryan relaxed when Shane’s hand - covered in the warm washcloth - rubbed over Ryan’s chest. The room filled itself with the refreshing scent of aloe vera, creating a beautiful perfume of aftercare and sex Ryan wanted to wear for as long as he lived. 

Shane’s fingernails curled under the hardened pieces of wax on Ryan’s chest and nipples. He peeled them off slowly, and covered the skin with the cloth as soon as he could, all while murmuring along to a song Ryan didn’t recognise.. 

Ryan surrendered himself entirely to the softness of Shane’s touches. Here, he was safe. Here, he was at home. This was where he wanted to be. 

He felt himself dozing off under Shane’s care, completely exhausted by the entire night. The last thing he noticed was a soft kiss on his nose, Shane leaving the bed only to come back a handful of minutes later, wrapping his arm around Ryan and falling asleep with him.

~~~

Ryan woke up to the bright sunlight coloring his face. He covered his eyes with his hands as he wiggled around, gathering more bedsheets to hide himself from the early morning, hoping to draw this comfortable feeling out longer. His mouth fell open when he felt a hard, silicon item in between his legs and his mind shot back to the memories of last night. His fingers travelled down, to feel the hard plastic gemstone covered in the soft silicon, stuck between his legs, sucked inside of him. Keeping that delicious cum inside of him. Ryan sighed, content, happy, in love.

“And here I thought you’d be breaking up with me,” Ryan mumbled.

Beside him, Shane moved around, the arm on Ryan’s belly regaining feeling. He pushed himself up, looking Ryan in the eye with that cute, messy morning hairdo.

Ryan wanted to greet him, but Shane was quicker.

“You thought I would _what?!”_

Oops.

**Author's Note:**

> the emerald stone is Venus' stone, it stands for love and hope. 
> 
> [(join the shipping discord server here).](https://discord.gg/G3EfhGUZ9h)


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